Mickey Smith: “Oh, mate, the missus and the ex. Welcome to every man’s worst nightmare!” – Doctor Who

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The ending of relationships – especially an acrimonious end – is something that is hard to accept. While there is greater clarity at this stage, feelings can still be pretty raw for quite some time. However, some would assert that any comments that are less than conciliatory stem from sour grapes… Written by Harry Butler and directed by Anthony Biggs, Sorry You Felt That Way deals with the ‘ex’ and the new love interest having a frank talk about ‘the boyfriend’.

Having just bathed, Emma (Hannah Brady) finds Elouise (Chloe O’Reilly) standing in the living room with a carrier bag full of clothes and a key to the flat. Initially, Elouise intimates that she’s there to return the key and clothes, but it soon becomes apparent that both women are already aware of each other and have viewed their respective Instagram accounts. While Elouise assauges Emma with small talk, she tries – increment by increment – to bring the conversation to around to Adam (Harry Butler) the boyfriend…

By the time Elouise leaves, inception has took place – the seed of doubt has been planted, confirming things Emma has already observed. Moreover, Emma needs to find out for herself how Adam treated his ex, and whether his recent behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg…

The casting of the characters is spot on, with O’Reilly as the slightly older, mercurial woman who still feels ‘everything’ all at once, but keeps everything in check – initially. When Elouise repeatedly comments on Emma’s age, we really do get the sense that she believes she’s been replaced by a younger model who has youth on her side, but perhaps lacks the breadth of life experience.

As Emma, we see Brady processing what she’s been told, though understandbly there is resistance at first. Watching Emma’s behaviour, I was reminded of a well-known celebrity who was ‘put through the wringer’ for his behaviour to certain women. But when it came to one woman quoting ‘chapter and verse’ about what happened to her, the celebrity’s female supporters said they recognised that this is ‘her truth’ – that this is what she believes happened (as opposed to hard evidence) – and possibly speaking from a place of angst. This willingness to listen, but not necessarily accept what’s said is the ‘energy’ that Brady’s Emma gives. Proving the existence of ‘abusive behaviour’ is pertinent in Sorry You Felt That Way and while nothing physical takes place in the play, psychologically speaking, both women have their own stories to tell…

From the moment Harry Butler appears on stage as Adam, the energy of the play shifts, as the ‘rhetorical’ accusations that appeared in the play suddenly have a palpable substance. From the off, the audience picks up on Adam’s coercive behaviour to have his own way or make Emma feel like she’s inarticulate. Anybody else would have told Adam ‘where to go’, but from what we hear of Emma’s recent hardships and Elouise’s gratefulness at living in a flat rent-free, both women don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ or ‘needlessly make things awkward’. For the sake of stability, people will put up with a lot of things…

Emma’s exploratory conversation with Adam about the shameful things everyone has done in the past is a strong piece of writing and one of my favourite parts of the play (because it shows everyone at some point or other is capable of doing things they aren’t proud of). When the conversation dovetails into the capacity for people to change over time, this is met with short shrift by Adam. Apart from the fact that his argument negates her own feelings and the possibility that she will ever feel less heartbroken about the death of her father, it’s actually an oblique admission by Adam that the cruel things he’s done the past will happen time and time again.

Without being didactic, Sorry You Felt That Way highlights how the potential for abusive behaviour can be present at the inception of a relationship, when the ‘faults’ of a partner may be less clear cut. Also, as we see in Elouise and Emma, if one’s circumstances places you in a vulnerable place physically, there is greater susceptibility to ‘accept things as they are’ and not have the wherewithal to call out gaslighting behaviour. But don’t let anyone tell you ‘your truth’ is invalid…

© Michael Davis 2024

Sorry You Felt That Way ran at Theatre503 from 17th to 19th September.