Living with dementia is emotionally draining for for all concerned, especially for husband and wife. But even before the onset of Alzheimer’s, some topics may have been deliberatelly buried by one party, for fear of the damage they do. In the process of ‘forgetting’ to NOT talk about certain topics, unearthed secrets may be more damaging than the erosion of independence and trust…

Written by Andrew McGuinness and directed by John Davey, Tonight Will Be A Memory Too focuses on Jill (Lisa Day) and Geoff (Robert Gordon Clark) who are due to travel to their oldest son’s wedding. However, in the early hours before their departure, Geoff’s insomnia leads to him digging out a metal detector. As much a metaphor as a catalyst for the conversations that come next, the object triggers a series of discussions that pulls apart the threads of their own relationship, as well as with their sons…

As Geoff, Clark oscillates between being self-assured, annoyed and dumbstruck (though to be fair his moments of silent fear aren’t so frequent). Day’s Lisa is visibly tested by her husband’s actions and doesn’t keep her frustration to herself. However, there are a number of times that Geoff is mistaken about things, but she doesn’t contradict him, for fear of undermining his confience. One wonders if that was always the case in their marriage – this titan of academia whose ego is propped up by the ‘woman behind the throne’. Certainly, their respective status and how they are perceived by others during their marriage is raised.

Matters of fidelity on both sides are laid bare, though reading between the lines, Geoff’s laissez-faire attitude versus Jill’s indignation suggests that less happened with both parties than what was inferred. Certainly for Jill, however, putting oneself in a position to potentially be unfaithful is precarious – either for herself or for Geoff. One might be forgiven for thinking that after 30+ years of marriage, revelations of marital fidelity might be the biggest source of division between them, but it is their sons that engender the most bitter feelings.

We hear of how the eldest has assimilated his father’s ‘work ethic’ and made a success of himself from an early age. It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume the eldest’s ‘assimilation’ of his father’s attributes also includes his propensity for being self-centred, a trait that Geoff doesn’t recognise in himself. But it’s not the son who is getting married who haunts the parents – it is the youngest whose ‘absence’ is still keenly felt. The play deftly explores the dynamic with the respective ‘favourite sons’, the expectations from them and what can happen when a breakthrough cannot be made – either through lack of effort or ‘irreconcilable differences’…

While it is in many ways a very different play, the themes in Tonight Will Be a Memory Too can also be found Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman, albeit with a very British flavour and solely from the point of view of the parents.

© Michael Davis 2023

Tonight Will Be A Memory Too runs at the Playground Theatre until 3rd June.